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    Avoid telling them via telephone and especially resist the temptation to communicate via email. Remember your children will likely be in emotional shock after you tell them your intentions to end your marriage.

    They will not be able to absorb everything you say this first time.

    A white zinfandel or green-apple martini will send the signal that this is your first time out in years.

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    Their shock and grieving will interfere with them being able to fully take in all that you are sharing. Attire After a long, unhealthy marriage, it’s common to feel insecure about your body and your performance. Creative drinks, romantically lit corners, and not a hint of neon. It will also help everyone involved compartmentalize life and lust (libertyhotel.com).Online groups for adult children whose parents are divorcing can be helpful.The books “A Grief Out of Season: When Your Parents Divorce in Your Adult Years,” and “The Way They Were: Dealing with Your Parents’ Divorce after a Lifetime” (both available via with excellent reviews) will help them realize they are not alone.

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